WsprsOnTheWind: Single Woman in United States

You are free to choose the way that you act but you are not free to choose the consequences of those actions!

Divergent:
To be different or develop in different directions. I have a many faceted personality and I fit into more than one faction. If you are not willing to accept ALL of me and take the good with the bad then you are not who I need.

My test score from highest to lowest:
Candor
Honesty-I scored highest in this category.
Erudite-Intelligence-Smart enough to know when someone is trying to hide their issues by tearing me down.
Dauntless-Brave-I have the backbone to stand up for what is right.
Abnegation-Selflessness-Giving of myself to help others.
Amity-Kindness-Self explanatory.

Abnegation:
I value the needs of others above my own but do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I try to always put the other person first, however, I have to draw the line when that person becomes verbally, mentally or physically abusive. If I do not protect myself then who will?

Amity:
Give freely, trusting that you will be given what you need... Do not be angry. The opinions of others cannot damage you... The wrong is past. You must let it rest where it lies... You must no longer think cruel thoughts. Cruel thoughts lead to cruel words, and hurt you as much as they hurt their target.

I try to live by this to the degree of which I can and give the benefit of the doubt until I have actual facts that would make me no longer trust the person. What I don't need is someone constantly reminding me that they have other options. We ALL have other options. There's always another bus leaving in 20 minutes but they don't always take you where you want/need to go so why not catch the right one and stay there? Having many options does not mean that there are many that are worth keeping.

When someone continues to accuse me of things I am not doing, when they take cheap shots at me and tear a relationship down and when they are simply nasty, mean and cruel then I know it's time for me to walk away. When that person continues to blame their ex for their drinking and all of their problem and they take no responsibility or try to change, even though that person is gone you can pretty much know that person is in denial. That person will never have a successful relationship because he won't look at himself long enough to fix his brokenness but always has to find someone else to blame. This is indicative of those who have unresolved issues from deep trauma.

Candor:
I value honesty above all else. Because I value honesty from you, I repay that in kind. If I tell you that I am not seeing someone else, talking to someone else or want someone else then that is the truth. My word is my badge of honor. When I continue to be falsely accused of seeing other men when I am not then it's time for me to walk away from my accuser and make their self-fulfilling prophesy come true.

Dauntless:
Brave and Fearless. I'll walk through the fires of hell for someone I love and never think twice about taking a bullet for them. I will die figuratively and literally for them covering their back. However, that loyalty stops when they turn their back on me. We all have good and bad days and if you don't want to share my bad days then you don't deserve my good days.

Erudite
The never ending thirst for knowledge. I never want to stop learning. If you are knowledgeable on a topic that I am not then I will pick your brain until I am informed then I will go and research the subject and learn all I can about it.

I've worked years to turn myself into a better person and I know myself pretty well. I know exactly who to go to when I need someone to lift me up when I am down. I also got solid Biblical grounding at my grandmother's knees and I am very well versed in what the Bible does and does not say. I don't need some Bible thumping, diabolical, pseudo preacher, beating me over the head with scriptures while looking through the bottom of a beer bottle.

The gift of Goodbye: Relationships are for better or for worse, in sickness and health, in poverty and riches. They are not one person constantly trying to make you pay for the sins of their past ex(es). They are for working through things together. If the person you are with cannot or will not give this in return then it is time to say goodbye. It is a two way street and if the person cannot take responsibility when he is wrong but has to blame it on someone else then that person is not worthy of my time.